Grace as a leadership superpower
When was the last time you gave yourself grace?
If you were asking me this, I'd say an hour ago.
THE PERFECTION TRAP I FELL INTO
I started publishing my newsletter on my LinkedIn profile a month ago. Eager to share my insights and build a greater community on that platform, I was committed to keeping the same cadence and striving to get a newsletter out every other week.
You don't have to go and check your inbox to see that I didn't accomplish that goal. When the week I wanted to get something out ended, I felt disappointed and a little embarrassed. Over 400 people subscribed to my newsletter on LinkedIn, and I couldn't even follow through on the one commitment I made with my first edition shared there.
And then I paused to reflect.
PAUSING FOR SELF-COMPASSION
A reflection I'm getting more practiced at doing is to reflect on my current circumstance, my energy level, my capacity, and core values alignment. When I paused to step out of my shame spiral, I noted that:
I'm still a work-from-home (with a toddler) solo-preneur. My ambitions and creativity outpace my season of life.
My energy level was high, but my capacity for time to sit down, reflect, and write was low. I've been tracking my work hours weekly, and I have 4-4.5 hrs weekly to do work without interruption. The week I planned on getting my newsletter out, my work time needed to be prioritized elsewhere, for more time-sensitive and critical business matters.
My business core values include wellness and sustainability. It was more important for my health and wellness not to work beyond my capacity. I know the type of environment I need to write and share an authentic message. An all-nighter isn't conducive to what I needed.
So, I decided to postpone the newsletter. I'll share the topics in the queue soon, but this message needed to take precedence.
COMPASSION VS. COMPROMISE: FINDING THE BALANCE
According to my Googles...
making excuses = offering a reason or explanation that is often untrue or used to avoid responsibility, blame, or criticism
giving grace = extending kindness, understanding, compassion, and mercy; giving someone the benefit of the doubt
What's funny is that in my original Google search, the summary definition mentioned grace being for people who were undeserving or who hadn't earned it. I wonder if that's what we've internalized in our hustle culture, that we're not worthy of compassion and understanding. How incorrect and damaging that is for ourselves and for those we're in community with.
My process of assessing my circumstance, energy, capacity, and core values wasn't about avoiding responsibilities and deadlines. It was about being responsive to my needs so that what I put out is of service to my community and not just to serve my ego and say I did a thing.
But Tamisha, how do you hold yourself accountable? Some things will require you to push beyond your limits, stretch yourself, and challenge your capacity.
To that, I say you're absolutely right. And that's the work I do daily to mother my Little One, nurture my relationships, and run my business with love and integrity. I regularly go beyond what I thought I was capable of and challenge what I thought I could do, just by living!
How are we honoring all the ways we regularly push ourselves to achieve goals that stretch us and take us out of our comfort zones?
How are we celebrating all of the ways that we're challenging the limits we thought we had, realizing we're stronger than we imagined?
My pause for self-compassion helped me do just that!
GRACE AS A LEADERSHIP SUPERPOWER
Giving grace to ourselves is healing. It creates space in us to show up in our fullness, which includes our imperfections. It makes space for our humanity. We are not machines. We are human BEings, who thrive off of space to just be and not always be doing.
So often, I judge others on what they didn't do and can't do because I'm holding them to an unrealistic standard that I can't live up to myself: perfection.
By practicing giving yourself grace, you strengthen your ability to lead from a place of love. Love is not without accountability. But accountability from a loving place doesn't need to instill fear, shame, or judgment. Accountability centered in love empowers, uplifts, and creates sustainable pathways forward.
As BIPOC leaders, we often carry the weight of representation, excellence, and additional expectations. The revolutionary act of extending grace to ourselves ripples outward:
When we model boundary-setting, we empower our teams to honor their capacity.
When we acknowledge our humanity, we create psychologically safer spaces for authenticity.
When we prioritize sustainable practices, we demonstrate that resilience comes through renewal, not just endurance.
The next time you feel the pull to push beyond healthy limits, try the REAL Reflection:
Reality check - What's happening around you that demands attention?
Energy assessment - How are your physical and emotional reserves?
Acknowledge capacity - What can you realistically accomplish in this moment?
Live your values - Which decision reflects what matters most to you?
This simple practice helps you get REAL with yourself about your needs and limitations. It's not about making excuses; it's about making conscious choices that honor your leadership responsibilities and humanity.
Remember, the most revolutionary thing you can do in a culture that demands constant productivity is to pause, rest, and prioritize your wellness. Your leadership doesn't diminish when you acknowledge limits. It deepens.
EMBRACING THE JOURNEY TOGETHER
I invite you to reflect this week:
Where might you extend more grace to yourself?
What unrealistic standards are you holding that could be released?
You're not alone if you're constantly bumping up against capacity limits or struggling to lead without burning out. The path to sustainable leadership isn't something we should navigate in isolation.
Ready to transform your relationship with leadership and wellness?
Individual Leaders: My 1:1 coaching allows you to develop resilient leadership practices rooted in wellness. Through our work together, you'll learn to align your leadership with your core values while establishing boundaries that protect your well-being. Schedule a consultation call to explore how one-on-one coaching can support your leadership journey.
Teams & Organizations: My personalized workshops equip teams with practical tools to protect collective energy, clarify priorities, and lead from a place of sustainable strength rather than depletion. Contact me to bring this transformative experience to your organization.
Until next time (whenever that naturally flows!),
Tamisha
